Boon or a bane...?

I belong to a joint family. 
We have grandparents ripe old with the days of experience and wisdom teeth now on the eve of dropping down. We, as children learnt many things from them, saw the world with profound eyes bestowed by them. First rainbow in our life, first sparrow and crow... all we saw alongwith my grandparents.
And I sincerely owe a lot to them...


But today, the condition is a bit tangible. 
Due to their age and physical strength on a downfall, they crib and regret a lot.
Plus, they are unwilling to accept their physical limitations and still want to perform strainious physical work, walk a dozen miles just to save a couple of rupees, do all their work on their own...even washing their clothes.
How are we to convince them their age bar?


And on the other hand, I see an old lady, but not so old and inefficient; who is practically dependant on others for everything. She , inspite of good health, is demanding and expects people to be at her service day in and out . She would just send a battery of orders sitting on the bed, and people at her service must run to and fro executing her orders. When I met her, even three people proved inefficient for her. She has mastered excellent skills of instructing other people, nagging them, cribbing about things, complaining...that finally many times people perform tasks with disgust and to avoid her unstoppable verbal abuse! 
When this lady got operated, she started using the 'operation' as a defence mechanism! She would gather sympathy and would make people work for her!
I guess, nothing can justify such a behaviour.
It would have been best for her if she would have been born at a king's palace rather than at the house of a middle-class man...


How are we to categorize this as?
A boon of having ripe old, experienced people with us or a bunch of cribbing people making others' life miserable? Is this a Boon or a Bane??