Dear Baba. 31st May’08
It may seem weird to read a letter from your daughter about things, which can or rather must be sought out by direct talk.
However this is a humble attempt to put me as ME in your views.

Firstly let me tell you something very frankly; I am just hating you these days. I don’t know why. It maybe because we are almost of the same type-Egoistic.

But I also wish to thank you for many things, which I cannot repay in any form. After all, the stern, the insatiable and the substance in me are all your assets absorbed in me. They have aided me and have made me compatible in this competitive world.

I don’t appreciate you taunting or commenting me every now and then. I think I know at least a bit of what is to be done. I agree, I am not that mature to take all the decisions on my own, but I know where I am right. And after all, I am your daughter, so how would I appreciate others rectifying my decisions or opinions?

I detest your scolding me for losing my temper or for tantrums. Baba, is that not you who whom I have seen so short, hot and bad tempered even when you talk to aaji or ajoba? Why don’t you consider and understand that you are the one I have always seen as short tempered and extremely inconvincible since I attained the ‘understanding age’.

Today you label me as ‘disobedient’, ‘spoilt’, etc. but was it not you who disobeyed aaji and ajoba many times just for YOUR word? And I cannot forgive you for the dirty doubts you raised about me from the fact that I have many male friends. Didn’t you yourself feel faith in your blood? That day I hated to call myself your daughter. If you, at home itself would question my character, what on earth remains for the ones outside? Plus, though you are unaware, I know certain things that happened in past few years, which are not supposed to be known by me. That has triggered the hatred for you in my mind. I understand the value of your ethics and morals for you, but I do feel, you impose them on others and make them unhappy! Take the example of I-pod. Why can’t I have it when all around me live in the gizmo-age? --- Simple answer… your ethics…what would a girl do by such expensive gizmos? Fine. But living in this world, spending for fun is not so unprofitable. And I dint ask you to buy a Taj for me!
And as far as your ethics are concerned, sometimes they are baseless. For example, when we were for some occasion and I desperately wanted to go to Kalyan, and kaka was to come down to Nashik the next day; so all was actually physible. BUT, you didn’t let me go…why?

Next, you have turned me into what I am rally not. The world says that. Have you ever appreciated for good things done? (Except for academic success) though I cleaned the living room, helped aaji, etc. you never seem to pay any heed. I don’t say I need to be praised every now and then, but at least some sweet words of appreciation would do well. And that’s what now I have turned into – a stone. I hardly appreciate anything whole-heartedly. What I just tend to do is find fault first! Am I not putting myself into your shoes?

Plus, you hate me going out with friends. Why? I am certainly not doing anything wrong. And we are just going to other friend’s house that’s all. But my lord! You are so stubborn to let me go… why? Why do you always want me to have 95%? I understand, that’s a grace, a pride. But honestly, I am comfortable moving on with my own pace, at my own destination – slowly but surely.

Next, why are you so practical? There are times when you have to be a bit of others and comprehend them as their hearts do! Why on earth am I always instructed not to do things of my choice? This isn’t a rare case. I am always opposed and discouraged for the thing I wish to do. For example, Oceanography. I had dreamt a whole new realm of my life with a career as this, but you spelt a doom to my aspirations. And moreover, you discuss, oppose and contradict so much that the feel and charm of the thing washes out. And then you are free; to say did I ask you to quit from it?
And personally, I don’t believe your view that ‘if you wish to do a thing wholeheartedly, be ready and face all odds’. Its not always possible if a person with whom you have a blood relation opposes you to such an extent. This exactly has happened in my case. Now I don’t just feel like doing oceanography. It has turned into a bad, evil dream, which can bring nothing but oppositions and oppositions.

You know what, you are really a good person, but the greatest problem is you don’t convince. You impose. That’s why you have your blood ties moving so far, specially Kanupriya and me.

I agree, this was ‘chotta mooh, badi baat’. But I couldn’t help that.
I just wanted you to realize where you lack.
I just wanted to make one of the many workaholics who forget emotions are premier to anything on the globe, aware of the ties and their direct impact on may lives. As on mine.
That’s all a daughter wishes to say by giving way to her long buried emotions.


With regards.
Durga.