Obeying the obedience in me I grew up till here.
Loving me, or rather claiming to love me.
I obeyed all. Parents, teachers, relatives, friends, neighbors...
Just did not obey me. My will. My desires.
I put them off prioritizing others'.
And today, this obedience eats me from inside.
I need to obey the people but wish to obey myself.
I need to make them unconditioned to my obeying, and used to my disobeying.
I need to condition myself to my obeying and not used to their ordering.
I should now obey what i say.
To make real love to myself. At least now on.
Dugga, I sense a pain in this particular post.
ReplyDeleteI hope everything's alright...
Thought I am happy about a tiny revealing to yourself. I know, such stuff happens; and is indeed difficult to digest and accept.
I quite like the way you reflect on tiny aspects of yours.
But I wish to caution you, to go a subtle way when you take such kind of rebellious seeming ways.
There is always a right time to do right things, but the right way is also important.
all my well wishes to you!
Take care.
Muwaah!
Hey Jay! Thank you...
ReplyDeleteI am waiting to see you!
I would indeed reflect on the things you stated.
Plus, there is an external 'influence' which make me reflect on my tiny bits of thoughts.
:)