I did not write anything since quite a few days. Maybe I was just fooling myself that I do not need to 'speak out' to myself any more.
That day my room mate went home-for a short duration, and she was to be back in a a couple of days- and I realized i was evading myself all this while.
As soon as she had left, I rejoiced... played some music, painted and then fell on the mattresses... know I owned both of those..for the time being atleast!
I breathed free and did all what I would not do owing to silly inhibitions...
However, just in some time, my excitement had faded away.
I realized, the jargon of life which I thought existed, did not really.
You need to have space and so do your thoughts.
I had settled in a chair and had pondered... had gazed at the calender. I had been jobless and quite useless for a while now. Just jaywalking pretending to be busy.
That day dawned today as well. I saw myself being too busy lately; in the real sense this time... But in return, losing out on quite a few things- like a long drive with my friend, wine tasting, counting stars...etc. Simple pleasures, but they amount to a great deal.
And writing, I realized, is like drawing patterns on the beach sand... the sea water consumes then or erases the art, but they remain for you. still and unperturbed.
So I start writing now... with the complete realization that catharsis is not the point at all! ...all it is about, is sharing what you see, experience and believe!
That day my room mate went home-for a short duration, and she was to be back in a a couple of days- and I realized i was evading myself all this while.
As soon as she had left, I rejoiced... played some music, painted and then fell on the mattresses... know I owned both of those..for the time being atleast!
I breathed free and did all what I would not do owing to silly inhibitions...
However, just in some time, my excitement had faded away.
I realized, the jargon of life which I thought existed, did not really.
You need to have space and so do your thoughts.
I had settled in a chair and had pondered... had gazed at the calender. I had been jobless and quite useless for a while now. Just jaywalking pretending to be busy.
That day dawned today as well. I saw myself being too busy lately; in the real sense this time... But in return, losing out on quite a few things- like a long drive with my friend, wine tasting, counting stars...etc. Simple pleasures, but they amount to a great deal.
And writing, I realized, is like drawing patterns on the beach sand... the sea water consumes then or erases the art, but they remain for you. still and unperturbed.
So I start writing now... with the complete realization that catharsis is not the point at all! ...all it is about, is sharing what you see, experience and believe!
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| sun set at aqsa- which always pushes me to write. My quantum of solace. |
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