A Vow (?)

I again stumbled with words.

Putting them together to make sense.

To knit phrases and ideas

At least to present a dainty patch work.

I could not frame my sentences.

Nor could I come out clear.

A lump in my throat accumulated

Out of a feeling I never endear!

I had never faced this.

Submitting to someone, something.

‘Opening up’ this way

And awkwardly expressing the ‘liking’.

The devil in me could paint an angel.

While the angel could bring out the devil.

And about what I was most concerned

Were my words – shouldn’t stand as a peril

Beating round the bush

Bosom full of thoughts

I murmured hollow words

But suddenly, I stopped!

Looking deep in the eye

With bravery I had just amassed,

I whispered, “Dear me

It’s late. I must flee now.”

Picking the folds of my gown

And speeding heaven knows where

I succumbed to my mind

Saying, “Another heart- You Dare!”

My intellect was playing tricks on me

Letting me fall and now helping me stand

First instigating to talk my heart

And now ceasing my words, and returning with empty hands.

But my mind was right.

I had no right to hurt another heart.

To shower care

And then, to part.

It always happens

I fall prey to my infatuation

Mistake it to be love,

And then watch it land into destruction.

But now I have overcome this.

Grown out of this shit.

And vow never to fall prey

Not to ruin lives. Just to walk my own way.