All things somehow saturate at one bold point- perception.
The life we mould for ourselves is all a product of churning out of ideas and adding our ideologies to make it a perfect blend.
She hates everything. Her life as well.
Constantly cribbing about things, all she is investing today is misery.
I made a dish especially for her, to perk up her mood. But she ruined mine too. The instant reply was.’ Hmmm, you should’ve waited for me. You cannot cook. This dish will only end up ruining our stomachs and appetite.’ I felt bad. But I tightly held my nose between my thumb and the index finger and drank back all the tears ready to fall.
She hates routine. But hates change as well! Every day I find her complaining, ’This job… Sue these idiots in there!’ And holidays invite her for saying,” Man! I would’ve worked and completed my data feeding by now at the office… What will I do with the holiday? Doesn’t the company even understand this?” And with her perpetual feeling ‘blue’, worsens others’ lives… with taunts, pricking remarks, etc.
A good cook, but curses her preparations on a daily basis. I once complimented her excellent preparation. Her reply,’ Aaaa. It’s ok. This one is not perfect though. You should have tasted the same dish I had prepared month back. It was perfect. Maybe you people are used to eating substandard stuff.” I was shocked. Since then, I have to think a dozen times before complimenting.
She knows a lot of things in general. Specially the household ones. Like, how to store cut vegetables in a particular way so as not to lose its nutrient value, etc. But she feels, her knowledge is unchallenged and unbeaten at everything. And somehow she stretches every discussion into a debate and then into an argument. Aiming to ‘win’ in any case.
The best thing she says is that she is vary ‘open’ towards life. But hates ‘change’. She disapproves of suggestions for change in any way. Right from preparing a vegetable rice in a different way to the changes in the arrangement of the furniture. On plans to bring in a fish tank, her openness ceased , garnished with a taunt, ”you intend to add up to my burdens’ Team work and the “OUR” concept somehow does not exist for her in ‘her’ life. Suddenly even I’ve started to perceive myself as a burden.
Every Sunday morning has to be just crushed roti as breakfast (even there are nothing left) and no one must dare suggest or bring anything else. It would just result in her not eating and not letting others eat also, with her taunts, etc.
She has positivity also, doubtless. She is caring (I don’t mind even if she does that for her own motives), considerate, liberal (no problem even if she later boasts about that for days together).
My first month with her was horrible. I was so depressed that I had started feeling that Iam no good at anything. Not even to live a simple desireless, aspirationless life. But gradually, I learnt to ‘open’ my mind.I accepted her with my whole heart. As a part which shows me ~ ‘Life can be like this as well”.
And today, I’m saying all this, because now I really think she must seriously start living an ‘open’ life. I don’t want her to be outcast by her blood ties also because of her hatred for life and all in general. I want her to be a part of the social sphere in the right light. She deserves to be heard. But only if she ‘opens’ up. And lives with ‘open’ mind and soul.
For an ‘open’ ending of a potent life ahead.
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