I try not to sound too pensive at times. Even as I type this.
I just stare at the things, the events that happened just recently. As if they are standing in front of me.
And I recon. Timing is everything.
My friend. She shifted to a hostel at a very young age. She used to call me often and try to 'talk out' her problems. But I just thought all that to be bizarre. Maybe because I could not relate to her problems, since I still lived with my parents in our cozy little home. As days passed, we grew up, and our friendship grew out. Now when I feel like I need to 'vent out'; I think her as the best person to understand me. But now I cannot get to her... Our relation just got very weird and formal with time...
We were a handsome group of friends- always completing our submissions and journals together, partying out, spending time together... and so on. The relation is overtly the same. And I am sure, same from their side. But in due course of time, it was me who changed a great deal. So great that I thought they would not understand me. So I stopped being vocal about my thoughts, my assignments, my problems, and so on. And so; our relation has altered a great deal in such a short while.
We still meet each other once in a while, try to catch up with times. But all seems too hollow for me. I did not put enough faith in them. I just undermined the friendship... and so I am at a very weird juncture from where I feel they are the only ones who would understand me, but I flinch; thinking I've distanced too far and beyond.
Our debates and misunderstandings have been on a rise recently. And because, we do not talk things just then... maybe we wait for the 'right time' which just prolongs it and makes everything just a mess.At times, I cannot say things I feel like, just looking at the ticking clock overhead. 'Timing', I feel is important. But in this truce, I have lost too many valuable minutes we would have spent fruitfully and too many notions which now stand like a wall between. Timing. Just ruined it.
And now I hope things get better.
Time will heal! I think and draw myself out. trying not to remember and feel pained of the unsuccessful tries...
I just stare at the things, the events that happened just recently. As if they are standing in front of me.
And I recon. Timing is everything.
My friend. She shifted to a hostel at a very young age. She used to call me often and try to 'talk out' her problems. But I just thought all that to be bizarre. Maybe because I could not relate to her problems, since I still lived with my parents in our cozy little home. As days passed, we grew up, and our friendship grew out. Now when I feel like I need to 'vent out'; I think her as the best person to understand me. But now I cannot get to her... Our relation just got very weird and formal with time...
We were a handsome group of friends- always completing our submissions and journals together, partying out, spending time together... and so on. The relation is overtly the same. And I am sure, same from their side. But in due course of time, it was me who changed a great deal. So great that I thought they would not understand me. So I stopped being vocal about my thoughts, my assignments, my problems, and so on. And so; our relation has altered a great deal in such a short while.
We still meet each other once in a while, try to catch up with times. But all seems too hollow for me. I did not put enough faith in them. I just undermined the friendship... and so I am at a very weird juncture from where I feel they are the only ones who would understand me, but I flinch; thinking I've distanced too far and beyond.
Our debates and misunderstandings have been on a rise recently. And because, we do not talk things just then... maybe we wait for the 'right time' which just prolongs it and makes everything just a mess.At times, I cannot say things I feel like, just looking at the ticking clock overhead. 'Timing', I feel is important. But in this truce, I have lost too many valuable minutes we would have spent fruitfully and too many notions which now stand like a wall between. Timing. Just ruined it.
And now I hope things get better.
Time will heal! I think and draw myself out. trying not to remember and feel pained of the unsuccessful tries...
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