Lost...

A sad feeling engulfed me today.


Being lost in the 'crowd' of my own.
I had a special friend with whom I could open up, talk anything under the sun. We shared a feeling of being the 'soul's... (crazy it may sound, but yes!)
I needed no appendage of words to put things across.


But today suddenly, the scenario seemed to be a changed one. Atleast I observed today.
My pangs of loneliness, dejection etc. naturally channelized myself to pick up my cellphone and punch his number.
However, the situation I found myself in, wasn't that comfortable.


I had been in an entirely boring area where I would have been bored to death if I did not sneak out; all afternoon ... being showered by hell lot of instructions, stingy comments,  taunts which had already started both irritating and demoralizing me...
And I wanted to give a vent to all this accumulated stuff!
But what I got to hear from the other side of the line was just "'suggestions'"...(which I indeed did not want. All I wanted was a patient ear! :( )


On top of it, when I cut the line (with prior intimation of course; and not abruptly) I was bombarded with a host of calls again from the same individual! Whoa! What guts! Or patience... or whatever!
I literally felt like blowing up the entire globe that very minute! Frustration was dancing on and in my brain!


I came home. Same scenario!
'To-do' lists standing ready for me and a running commentary of how-to-do-that-particular-thing. Am I a toddler to be told that flowers can be bought from the bazaar?!
Or do I even don't know where to look for the directory to call up some random 'aunt'?!!
All was utterly frustrating. Plus the menace of our clingy neighbours who had ran to our house for dropping them somewhere(were all the autos on a strike?)! 
And in the middle of all this, my cell was bursting with the (then so irritating) ringtone...




As things pacified, and my hungry stomach finally gave up 'being hungry' and settled for a pinch of sugar, my frustration got a vent in the form of unending warm tears... I set my brain to work.
In this crowd, I had lost intimacy. I had lost the same old relation with my friend. I had lost the capacity to open up and express. I had lost the boon of understanding and being understood. I had lost to myself. The relation I maintained...
I had lost an asset in the course of life.